After a Drug-Riddled Life, A New Beginning

By Jim Sellinger, General Manager, Chesapeake Trading Area, IBM

Down 20^th Street in Fort Meade sits Sarah’s House. This house is not a home in the traditional sense, but several renovated Army barracks.

Sarah’s House, operated by Catholic charities, provides a multifaceted program for the homeless, and the opportunity to break the vicious cycle of substance abuse and domestic violence to get back on the road to self-sufficiency.

The residents of the emergency shelter, who can stay for three months, are expected to save 80 percent of their income. Families who are accepted in the transitional housing program can stay up to 18 months, but must pay 30 percent of their income for rent. They are also expected to save an additional 30 percent to help establish themselves in permanent housing. The residents of Sarah’s House also are required to sign up for chores and provide for the ongoing up-keep of the facilities.

When I visited Sarah’s House, I met a 33-year-old single mother name Vera, and her three children – Caperisha, 6; DeAndre, 5; and Deon, 4. Vera comes from a family of five children where she was the next-to-youngest child. After 27 years of marriage, Vera’s parents divorced. She graduated from high school and held various jobs with the state, several nursing homes and a hardware store.

Vera became addicted to crack cocaine in 1990. “I was in denial a whole lot,” she said of her addiction. Vera’s mother, with whom she and the children were living at the time, offered to get her help with her drug problem. “I didn’t want to go to a year of rehabilitation because of the kids,” she said.

Vera finally went to the Department of Social Services for assistance. “They put us in a hotel for a few days and finally we got to Sarah’s House,” she said.

Vera’s stay at Sarah’s House began in the emergency shelter. It was tough on the children, with all four of them living in a sign 10-by-12 foot room. But it was a new beginning. Vera got her drug addiction under control and enrolled in Project Independence, a state-sponsored job training program for families receiving Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC). She also began her pursuit of a career in cosmetology.

After a three-month stay in the emergency shelter, Vera and her children were accepted into the transitional housing program.

Their small one-bedroom apartment has a neat and attractively-furnished living, dining and kitchen area about 12-by-12 feet.

Vera has family pictures hanging on the walls, and lots of green plants that are thriving as much as this young family. The presence of children is evident by the brightly-colored magnetic alphabets on the refrigerator door, and coloring books and crayons scattered about.

Vera has put herself and the children on a daily routine. She is up at 5 a.m. and returns home at about 4 p.m. from her cosmetology training. The school bus picks up the children first from Sarah’s House in the morning before the other children, and returns them home last at the end of the day. This spares the children any potential ridicule from schoolmates.

Today, as any other day, Vera picked up her children from on-site child care at 4:30 p.m. The children were glad to see mom but were quiet at first, not sure what to make of the stranger visiting them for the afternoon.

The children ran about the apartment and hung up their coats without being reminded. Vera rewarded each with a fruit Popsicle treat. Today, when DeAndre brought home a letter of praise from his kindergarten teacher, Caperisha, or “Munchie” as she is called, reminded her mother of a similar letter she brought home just yesterday.

DeAndre and Deon turned on the small television set tucked in a corner of the room and began to watch the Power Rangers, settling down to their coloring books and crayons.

Vera and I sat at the kitchen table and reflected on her life and the children. “now everything is about me and my kids,” she said. It’s a happy feeling. I have put my mind and motivation to work. On Sept. 1, I will be celebrating two years of being clean. It’s a good feeling to stand on your own two feet. I’m strongly into recovery… I’m turning my whole life around.” She recalled a conversation with her daughter Munchie, who remarked, “Mommy, I’m so glad you’re not sick anymore.”

Vera has been in cosmetology school for a year and graduated on March 23, her 34^th birthday. She has passed the written exam and soon will take her practical exam and state boards for her certification.

“I’m going to try and give t hem the best,” said Vera of her three children. “It’s hard being a single mother. I can’t always give the kids all they want.”

Vera receives monthly AFDC benefits of $450, barely enough to make ends meet for three young children. She hates being on welfare and is determined to become self-sufficient.

“I don’t ever want nothing from them again,” she said, referring to the Department of Social Services. “Some people talk to you like ‘ a second-class citizen. They make promises to people and don’t keep them.”

Vera is fortunate to have some family sup port. Her mother is the core of her support system and helps with the children when necessary. “If you’re on AFDC, you need some support,” she said.

Vera drives a “junker car” to get to work (an individual on welfare can’t own a vehicle worth more than $1,500). When the car broke down recently, her father paid for the needed repairs. Vera would never have been able to afford the repairs herself.

Soon it’s time for dinner. Dinner at their home is similar to any other home – hamburgers and French fries. As she cooked, Vera talked candidly about her sisters. She is very close the younger one. They go to the mall together and talk frequently. However, her older sister has fallen into a similar situation as Vera’s – a single mother with a drug addiction.

“Nobody can reason with her,” said Vera in exasperation. “There is no dealing with her. It’s a shame. She has a beautiful 12-year-old daughter. Her pride will not allow her to come to Sarah’s House; she is concerned about what people will say.”

Vera put dinner on the table, which is barely large enough to seat four people, much less five. We doubled up on the chairs and began to pass the ketchup around for the burgers and fries. The children were quick to eat because there was a residents’ meeting that evening. Vera invited me to go along.

While the parents attend these mandatory monthly meetings, local Girl Scouts volunteer to baby-sit and play with the children. This evening’s topics included SHARE, a food and community co-op program, voter registration; and the new laundry schedule. In addition, volunteer tax assistance was being offered for the preparation of this year’s tax return.

After the meeting, I returned to Vera’s apartment to get my coat and say good-bye to the children.

In the short time I spent with Vera and her family, I gained an appreciation of challenges faced by those who are less fortunate than I. Here was a young woman from a good family who had gotten off track. Determined to turn her life around, and putting her ego aside, she went to Sarah’s House.

Vera is not proud that she is on welfare, and she wants nothing more than to be free of this crutch. In the interim, she needs the support of Sarah’s House, AFDC and that of her family so that she can train for a new career and provide for her three young children. As Vera said, “only the strong survive. I have to survive because I’m the only one they (the children) have.”

With her determination and the continued existence and support of programs like Sarah’s House, Vera and many more like her have a chance to break the cycle of welfare, and live independent and productive lives.

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Sarah's House

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